So, you’ve heard the phrase “Ladies and Gentleman,…” more times than you can remember. And odds are, it probably just meant “girls and guys,…” the way it was said. In my first post, and restated in my last post, we discussed what a gentleman truly is, and why you ought to be one. Since our culture (and in this case, rightly so) pairs gentlemen with ladies, you need to know what a lady is. Girls, pay attention, see what you think of this guy’s definition of a lady and whether you fit or not, and then comment if you disagree (please state with what and why).
So, for all practical purposes, guys, a lady is… any girl. That’s right, you should treat (we’ll discuss how) any girl you meet, know, see, hear of, etc. as a lady. Why aren’t there more qualifications? Well, females are a gift, from God:
“So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’” (Genesis 2:21-23, ESV)
Because all females are considered “flesh of (my) flesh”, and because they were created by God, then they are also made in God’s image, and therefore to be treated just as well as we (guys) treat ourselves. In Ephesians 5, it talks about men loving their wives as Christ loves the church. That definitely applies in a specific sense to your wife, but it implies that women are special in their own way, and ought to be treated as such.
Now, for a better picture of a lady (besides the first definition I gave), so you know what to look for when looking for a wife, or even a good friend, see Proverbs 31. Just a few things to be garnered from that passage (v. 10-31) include: Trustworthiness (v. 11), helpful (v. 12), willing worker (v. 13), diligent (v. 15 and v. 27), caring (v. 21), wise (v. 26), kind (v. 26), and God-fearing (v. 30). I won’t discuss each of these things here, but take time to think about them. Guys, if you are in a dating or courting relationship, consider how many of the aforementioned qualities you see in her. And girls, when you think about yourselves honestly, is this a picture of you, or is this too much to ask?
Again, if you (and this applies to all posts – past, present, and future) disagree with anything I say, let me know. Maybe I’m wrong - it wouldn’t be the first time. But I’ll never know until someone challenges me. Oh, and check out the guestbook and poll on the right hand side of the page, too. Let me know what YOU think.
-The Gentle Doofus
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Why be a Gentleman?
So, maybe you checked out last week’s post. Maybe you haven’t. Whatever the case, focus on this post. It’s going to (hopefully) put the rest of what I will say in perspective. So, let’s do a quick review of what a gentleman is:
“Gentle - not rough, uncouth, but kind, tenderhearted, gracious, and thoughtful.
Man - not simply a male, but a guy who has devoted his life to seeking Christ, all the while seeking to build a home and career on his faith. The combination of these two things make up a gentleman.”
So why be a gentleman? “What’s the point? Will I have to sacrifice my masculinity? I don’t want to be weak.“ The answer is simple, yet hard to grasp. Are you ready?
God commands us to be men- HIS men. At the basic level, it’s that simple.
First of all, he wants us to dedicate ourselves to him:
Romans 12:1 (ESV) “I appeal to you therefore, bothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual act of worship.” So, we are to give ourselves completely (sacrifice) to God.
Second, he wants us to glorify him:
I Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” So, our WHOLE LIFE should be to God’s glory.
God also sets our example as Christ:
I Corinthians 11:1 “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” Christ was perfect, so we have a perfect example of a (gentle)man before us. So, if you have questions as to how to be a gentleman, look to Christ.
So we know that we are commanded to be men, but what about gentlemen? The bible doesn’t mention specifically the word “gentleman” but instead talks about what a man should be and why, because God assumes that a man and a gentleman are the same thing. “Gentlemen” is just what "men" have labeled it to differentiate between "gentlemen" and "men" - so that we can be "mnn" without having to do the things God requires of men.
Besides the fact that being a gentleman is what is expected of us by God, it’s what God designed to help us find wives. THAT is a whole different blog post in itself.
Till next week,
The Gentle Doofus
“Gentle - not rough, uncouth, but kind, tenderhearted, gracious, and thoughtful.
Man - not simply a male, but a guy who has devoted his life to seeking Christ, all the while seeking to build a home and career on his faith. The combination of these two things make up a gentleman.”
So why be a gentleman? “What’s the point? Will I have to sacrifice my masculinity? I don’t want to be weak.“ The answer is simple, yet hard to grasp. Are you ready?
God commands us to be men- HIS men. At the basic level, it’s that simple.
First of all, he wants us to dedicate ourselves to him:
Romans 12:1 (ESV) “I appeal to you therefore, bothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual act of worship.” So, we are to give ourselves completely (sacrifice) to God.
Second, he wants us to glorify him:
I Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” So, our WHOLE LIFE should be to God’s glory.
God also sets our example as Christ:
I Corinthians 11:1 “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” Christ was perfect, so we have a perfect example of a (gentle)man before us. So, if you have questions as to how to be a gentleman, look to Christ.
So we know that we are commanded to be men, but what about gentlemen? The bible doesn’t mention specifically the word “gentleman” but instead talks about what a man should be and why, because God assumes that a man and a gentleman are the same thing. “Gentlemen” is just what "men" have labeled it to differentiate between "gentlemen" and "men" - so that we can be "mnn" without having to do the things God requires of men.
Besides the fact that being a gentleman is what is expected of us by God, it’s what God designed to help us find wives. THAT is a whole different blog post in itself.
Till next week,
The Gentle Doofus
Monday, October 5, 2009
A New Direction
Ahh, how long it's been. Months! What a horrible blogger I am. Yes, I know what you are thinking; "It's about time! I've ben waiting for him to update his blog forever, just so I can know what he's up to!" Well, you'll have to wait a bit longer - this blog is no longer devoted to me and my life, but to my thoughts and convictions regarding chivalry - being a true gentleman. I hope that you, guy or gal, will enjoy this, but more than that - take it to heart. These aren't just the musings of a college student - the are the thoughts and wisdom of a student of chivalry - of a young man who strives to be the gentleman every man should be.
What is Chivalry? Dictionary.com defines it as " the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms." I define it as the practice of being a gentleman. So what's a gentleman? A gentleman is not what the world considers a "manly-man". He doesn't do things to impress girls - he does things to respect girls. It's simple - split the word "gentleman" into its two parts:
Okay, ladies, I know that this doesn't seem like it has much application for you. Yes, you are correct in thinking that you do not need to know how to be a gentleman. BUT- you do need to know what to expect from any and every guy you meet. Part of the reason that the species "homosapiens -gentlemanus" has died out is because most girls don't expect every guy to be a gentleman, and so guys don't feel the need to meet an expectation that isn't there. So ladies, expect, no, DEMAND that any guy pursuing your heart (or any guy hanging around you, for that matter) be a gentleman. If he realizes that you are worth it, (which I know each and every one of you are) than he will learn quickly and gladly.
Guys, dudes, boys, and men - whatever category you think you fall into, odds are that gentleman is not one of them. Harsh, I know, but true. There just are very few males willing to act as a gentleman should anymore. If you are a gentleman (hold yourself to high standard to call yourself that), then I applaud you, and ask that you add your thoughts and wisdom through comments and emails to this blog. But the rest of you, take heart! Men were designed by God to be gentlemen - but sin has weakened us. If you have Christ as the center in your life, being a gentleman is SO MUCH EASIER. If you don't, you won't understand half the reasoning behind what I say.
If you read this regularly, you will read both abstract and practical, both physical and emotional, and both funny and serious advice. But it isn't advice for you to tuck away for a rainy day - it's advice to apply to your life IMMEDIATELY. It's also a good idea to pass this on. Girls, if you know of a guy (brother, friend, classmate) who could use a lesson or two, let him know about this blog. Guys, be man enough to tell your friends that they need to know this, too.
One last thing before I end - I don't claim to know everything, or be the perfect gentleman. As I said before, I'm a STUDENT of chivalry. But, someone needs to step up and say what needs to be heard, and that what I plan to do. I'll reference other sites, books, authors, bloggers, and people as I strive to drive home the points. Don't look at me as a Pharisee, but rather a disciple of Christ - humble, but speaking with His power and authority. If you have any questions, I may not know the answer, but I WILL do all I can to find the answer for you.
Signing off,
The Gentlemanly Doofus
What is Chivalry? Dictionary.com defines it as " the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms." I define it as the practice of being a gentleman. So what's a gentleman? A gentleman is not what the world considers a "manly-man". He doesn't do things to impress girls - he does things to respect girls. It's simple - split the word "gentleman" into its two parts:
- Gentle - not rough, uncouth, but kind, tenderhearted, gracious, and thoughtful.
- Man - not simply a male, but a guy who has devoted his life to seeking Christ, all the while seeking to build a home and career on his faith.
Okay, ladies, I know that this doesn't seem like it has much application for you. Yes, you are correct in thinking that you do not need to know how to be a gentleman. BUT- you do need to know what to expect from any and every guy you meet. Part of the reason that the species "homosapiens -gentlemanus" has died out is because most girls don't expect every guy to be a gentleman, and so guys don't feel the need to meet an expectation that isn't there. So ladies, expect, no, DEMAND that any guy pursuing your heart (or any guy hanging around you, for that matter) be a gentleman. If he realizes that you are worth it, (which I know each and every one of you are) than he will learn quickly and gladly.
Guys, dudes, boys, and men - whatever category you think you fall into, odds are that gentleman is not one of them. Harsh, I know, but true. There just are very few males willing to act as a gentleman should anymore. If you are a gentleman (hold yourself to high standard to call yourself that), then I applaud you, and ask that you add your thoughts and wisdom through comments and emails to this blog. But the rest of you, take heart! Men were designed by God to be gentlemen - but sin has weakened us. If you have Christ as the center in your life, being a gentleman is SO MUCH EASIER. If you don't, you won't understand half the reasoning behind what I say.
If you read this regularly, you will read both abstract and practical, both physical and emotional, and both funny and serious advice. But it isn't advice for you to tuck away for a rainy day - it's advice to apply to your life IMMEDIATELY. It's also a good idea to pass this on. Girls, if you know of a guy (brother, friend, classmate) who could use a lesson or two, let him know about this blog. Guys, be man enough to tell your friends that they need to know this, too.
One last thing before I end - I don't claim to know everything, or be the perfect gentleman. As I said before, I'm a STUDENT of chivalry. But, someone needs to step up and say what needs to be heard, and that what I plan to do. I'll reference other sites, books, authors, bloggers, and people as I strive to drive home the points. Don't look at me as a Pharisee, but rather a disciple of Christ - humble, but speaking with His power and authority. If you have any questions, I may not know the answer, but I WILL do all I can to find the answer for you.
Signing off,
The Gentlemanly Doofus
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