Ah, to be content. When you think about it, it doesn't matter what problems or deficiencies there are in your life if you're content. No food? Not a problem if you're content (and not hungry). No money? No sweat- you didn't feel the desire to buy anything anyways. The list can go on, but contentment with our current situation is a very good thing.
***Below is one of my usual notes of caution...so, caution!***
Contentment is a good thing, as stated above, but we shouldn't be content with mediocrity. If we have sin in our lives, we ought to seek to erase it by the power of the Holy Spirit within us. Saying that we're content to keep sinning is like saying that the knife in our heart doesn't bother us much - it's ridiculous! So, again, the pursuit of holiness (as in the book by John Piper) shouldn't be something we decide to be content in.
***End of note of caution***
What about relationships, though? Can you honestly say that you're content being single, or that you were content being single? Not many people can. Society and culture surround us with romance novels, movies, celebrity romance- romance is everywhere! Since our culture DOES have an effect on us, whether we want it to or not, we tend to each be romantic. Now, this is expressed in different ways for different people; i.e., most guys don't draw hearts and cupids in diaries. The point is, it's not easy to be happily single amidst our culture.
Contentment in our singleness stems from three things; trust in God's plan, seizing the opportunity to grow in Christ, and a realization that once our singleness ends, it ain't coming back.
Trusting in God's plan is something seen throughout the Bible. Jeremiah 29:11 gives it to us straight from God: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." What a promise! A future and a hope is something I can't promise myself, but God can promise AND deliver! What a relief to know that the God of the Universe has our best interest at his heart! David says in Psalm 56:3, "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you." When you're afraid of never-ending singleness, or of a broken heart, place your trust in God alone, and the dividends will never cease.
Seizing the opportunity to grow in Christ is something many people miss while in a state of singleness- I know I did. Paul, in I Corinthians 7, tells us that, " I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided... I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." (v. 32-34a, 35) While we are single, we have the chance to be undivided in our devotion to the Lord - something we won't have once we are married. Paul goes on later to say that to marry is good, but to stay single is better. That's another debate, but it's easy to see the freedom that comes with singleness.
Also in the seventh chapter of First Corinthians, Paul speaks of divorce, and how it should be avoided. A verse that you'll hear at almost every Christian wedding is, "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."(Mathew 19:6b) Unless the most extreme circumstances occur, we are to stay married for LIFE. Not until we "don't love him/her anymore" but until "death do us part". Once you're not single (aka MARRIED), you'll not be single again, God willing. Appreciate your singleness while you've got it.
Be content in your singleness! Trust in God's plan, use this time without distractions to seek God and prepare for his calling for you, and enjoy it!
-The GentleDoofus
Friday, September 24, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Fellowship and Fella’ship
As technology and culture has changed, so has the way we relate to others. Gone are days where people will sit around a porch and just chat – just because they wanted to know about each other. Now facebook, MySpace, and twitter have reduced time with people to “social networking.” By viewing someone’s profile, you can find out in 20 seconds what used to take 20 minutes. Great, right? Now you “know” them, so it’s much easier to enjoy your “friendship”! Wrong. You don’t know someone until you spend time with them. I don’t care who you are, spending time with someone is the only way to really get to know who they are.
Before I dive in, a disclosure: I’m not against social networking – in the global age that we are in, it’s very useful to be able to connect with people halfway around the world via facebook. I have facebook, but it’s not the perfect means to an end. Rather, it’s a tool – nothing more. I’ll mention facebook more than anything from here on out, since that’s what I’m familiar with.
How many of your friends on facebook have profile pictures that aren’t even of them? That just goes to show that a profile can be created to show who they are, or who they want you to see. People can be as real or as fake as they want to be on facebook, and there isn’t anything you can do about it. If you meet someone face to face, it’s much harder to give a false impression of who you are. Possible yes, but they’ll at least know what you look like (unless you wear masks all day…).
So, there is a need, I think, for real fellowship: spending time with other people and enjoying each other as God created you – which isn’t as a page on the internet. Fellowship can be defined as spending time within or without a worship context enjoying other people as a group of believers. In Acts 2:42, fellowship is listed along with prayer, teaching, and breaking of bread (eating). Sounds a lot like church, right? Well, fellowship can and should be a part of church, but it is not necessarily always within the service.
I encourage you to think about the amount of time you spend alone; by alone, I mean the times when you are awake yet not interacting with other people (and facebook chat doesn’t really count). Most people would be surprised at the amount of time they spend around others, but still alone. Instead of spending time alone, spend time fellowshipping with others! You’ll grow, be encouraged, and have lifelong friends.
Now I’m going to focus in one group that is hopefully reading this blog: guys. You may have noticed the second half of the title: “Fella’ship”. Guys, no matter your age, marital status, or occupation, you need guy time. In Genesis, God said that it wasn’t good for man to be alone, so he created woman. Great! Still, there are some things – trials, joys, hobbies, etc., that women just don’t understand.
The best example of what we need as guys is a Jonathan to our David. David and Jonathan were as close as two guys can get in a biblical way. Fiercely loyal, encouraging, and honest with each other, these two guys knew what it means to have a friend. And it wasn’t any simplistic facebook friendship, either. After Jonathan died at the hands of the Philistines, David wrote a lament (2 Samuel 1:25-27). “…your live to me was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women.” What a bold statement! Two guys who loved each other as God intended – a deep brotherly love that even marriage cannot fill! Is there a friend in your life who you could write that of? If you answered no, why not? What’s keeping you from creating deep lasting friendships that surpass (in some ways) the relationship of your girlfriend or wife?
Whether it’s coffee every week, a men’s breakfast, bible study, or just eating lunch a couple of days a week, take the opportunities provided to enjoy fella’ship – the deep, real fellowship that can only be found within the context of men.
Before I dive in, a disclosure: I’m not against social networking – in the global age that we are in, it’s very useful to be able to connect with people halfway around the world via facebook. I have facebook, but it’s not the perfect means to an end. Rather, it’s a tool – nothing more. I’ll mention facebook more than anything from here on out, since that’s what I’m familiar with.
How many of your friends on facebook have profile pictures that aren’t even of them? That just goes to show that a profile can be created to show who they are, or who they want you to see. People can be as real or as fake as they want to be on facebook, and there isn’t anything you can do about it. If you meet someone face to face, it’s much harder to give a false impression of who you are. Possible yes, but they’ll at least know what you look like (unless you wear masks all day…).
So, there is a need, I think, for real fellowship: spending time with other people and enjoying each other as God created you – which isn’t as a page on the internet. Fellowship can be defined as spending time within or without a worship context enjoying other people as a group of believers. In Acts 2:42, fellowship is listed along with prayer, teaching, and breaking of bread (eating). Sounds a lot like church, right? Well, fellowship can and should be a part of church, but it is not necessarily always within the service.
I encourage you to think about the amount of time you spend alone; by alone, I mean the times when you are awake yet not interacting with other people (and facebook chat doesn’t really count). Most people would be surprised at the amount of time they spend around others, but still alone. Instead of spending time alone, spend time fellowshipping with others! You’ll grow, be encouraged, and have lifelong friends.
Now I’m going to focus in one group that is hopefully reading this blog: guys. You may have noticed the second half of the title: “Fella’ship”. Guys, no matter your age, marital status, or occupation, you need guy time. In Genesis, God said that it wasn’t good for man to be alone, so he created woman. Great! Still, there are some things – trials, joys, hobbies, etc., that women just don’t understand.
The best example of what we need as guys is a Jonathan to our David. David and Jonathan were as close as two guys can get in a biblical way. Fiercely loyal, encouraging, and honest with each other, these two guys knew what it means to have a friend. And it wasn’t any simplistic facebook friendship, either. After Jonathan died at the hands of the Philistines, David wrote a lament (2 Samuel 1:25-27). “…your live to me was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women.” What a bold statement! Two guys who loved each other as God intended – a deep brotherly love that even marriage cannot fill! Is there a friend in your life who you could write that of? If you answered no, why not? What’s keeping you from creating deep lasting friendships that surpass (in some ways) the relationship of your girlfriend or wife?
Whether it’s coffee every week, a men’s breakfast, bible study, or just eating lunch a couple of days a week, take the opportunities provided to enjoy fella’ship – the deep, real fellowship that can only be found within the context of men.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
One-Mindedness
"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind." - Philippians 2:1,2
What is being "being of the same mind" or "being ... of one mind"? Is it multiple bodies running off of the same brain? Obviously not. Rather, the Bible teaches that to be one-minded is to have the same focus, the same goal, and to work as one to achieve that goal. The adage "Two heads are better than one" is only true in coming up with ideas - to enact one of those ideas, the two heads must act as one.
Being of one mind is something that has many applications to our lives - from our daily walk to our relationship. It's easy to pick one area and focus on that area, but every area in our lives impacts another area - just as in a house there are many room, those rooms share walls and a roof, and are together in one house. In the same way our lives have different areas, but are all connected.
That being said, let us take a look at some of the ways we ought to be one-minded, and how that affects us.
The first and foremost one-mindedness that the Bible teaches us is to be focus solely on God. The first commandment is "You shall have no other gods before me." (Exodus 20:3). God wants us to be of one mind in who we choose to worship - HIM. Any dividing of our mind, our focus, takes away from God what is rightfully his. So, to place anything before God is NOT being one-minded.
God also calls us to be of one mind with each other. In the passage from Philippians, that is what Paul is calling us to. He asks that the believers in Philippi not act as though they are separate from each other, but have the same goal (glorifying God), and act as such. This is one area where the church has gone very much by the wayside. Today you can be separate from a church, from other believers, and many people think that's fine. It's not. God didn't create man to be a island, like Simon and Garfunkel sang. He created us to exist with others, and to fellowship with them.
In terms of a relationship between a man and a woman, we are also called to be one minded. This follows from the other calls to be one-minded. As a couple, as two different people, the focus ought not to be on different things, but on God. Any relationship that doesn't have Christ at it's head is broken, and only our sinful nature will be brought out without Him. A couple is also not exempt from being of one-mind with a body of believers. Community is a very important part of courting/dating and marriage. Without other people, then the support structure for marriage would be a lot less helpful.
But each couple is called in other ways to be of one mind, that we take for granted. The couple must be of the same mind to see the relationship succeed, otherwise it's bound to failure. They must both have a singular mind of purity, otherwise that won't work either. Almost every area of the relationship must be done with one mind, or there will many cracks in the wall.
A useful analogy that famous author and speaker Ravi Zacharias uses in his book "I, Isaac, take Thee, Rebekah" is one of two walls.
"A few days ago, while writing this chapter is a small Asian city, I took an early morning walk and saw two workmen who were dismantling a cement block wall, taking great care to keep the blocks intact for another structure they were building. What a metaphor that is for the home! When two lives (minds) meet, they are like two distinct walls. Each has to start by dismantling his or her wall one brick at a time, and then those bricks are taken intact and with other materials used to build a structure with a roof that brings them together at the top. That is the new home. Two wills are as two walls. Rightly dismantled and rebuild they proved the strength for a new union of two lives."
So, I urge you, whether you are single, dating, courting, engaged, or married, to carefully look at your life and see where you have multiple minds running amok. It's something that will benefit you immensely in both the short and long run.
What is being "being of the same mind" or "being ... of one mind"? Is it multiple bodies running off of the same brain? Obviously not. Rather, the Bible teaches that to be one-minded is to have the same focus, the same goal, and to work as one to achieve that goal. The adage "Two heads are better than one" is only true in coming up with ideas - to enact one of those ideas, the two heads must act as one.
Being of one mind is something that has many applications to our lives - from our daily walk to our relationship. It's easy to pick one area and focus on that area, but every area in our lives impacts another area - just as in a house there are many room, those rooms share walls and a roof, and are together in one house. In the same way our lives have different areas, but are all connected.
That being said, let us take a look at some of the ways we ought to be one-minded, and how that affects us.
The first and foremost one-mindedness that the Bible teaches us is to be focus solely on God. The first commandment is "You shall have no other gods before me." (Exodus 20:3). God wants us to be of one mind in who we choose to worship - HIM. Any dividing of our mind, our focus, takes away from God what is rightfully his. So, to place anything before God is NOT being one-minded.
God also calls us to be of one mind with each other. In the passage from Philippians, that is what Paul is calling us to. He asks that the believers in Philippi not act as though they are separate from each other, but have the same goal (glorifying God), and act as such. This is one area where the church has gone very much by the wayside. Today you can be separate from a church, from other believers, and many people think that's fine. It's not. God didn't create man to be a island, like Simon and Garfunkel sang. He created us to exist with others, and to fellowship with them.
In terms of a relationship between a man and a woman, we are also called to be one minded. This follows from the other calls to be one-minded. As a couple, as two different people, the focus ought not to be on different things, but on God. Any relationship that doesn't have Christ at it's head is broken, and only our sinful nature will be brought out without Him. A couple is also not exempt from being of one-mind with a body of believers. Community is a very important part of courting/dating and marriage. Without other people, then the support structure for marriage would be a lot less helpful.
But each couple is called in other ways to be of one mind, that we take for granted. The couple must be of the same mind to see the relationship succeed, otherwise it's bound to failure. They must both have a singular mind of purity, otherwise that won't work either. Almost every area of the relationship must be done with one mind, or there will many cracks in the wall.
A useful analogy that famous author and speaker Ravi Zacharias uses in his book "I, Isaac, take Thee, Rebekah" is one of two walls.
"A few days ago, while writing this chapter is a small Asian city, I took an early morning walk and saw two workmen who were dismantling a cement block wall, taking great care to keep the blocks intact for another structure they were building. What a metaphor that is for the home! When two lives (minds) meet, they are like two distinct walls. Each has to start by dismantling his or her wall one brick at a time, and then those bricks are taken intact and with other materials used to build a structure with a roof that brings them together at the top. That is the new home. Two wills are as two walls. Rightly dismantled and rebuild they proved the strength for a new union of two lives."
So, I urge you, whether you are single, dating, courting, engaged, or married, to carefully look at your life and see where you have multiple minds running amok. It's something that will benefit you immensely in both the short and long run.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
I'm a Man - I'm Supposed to be Proud, Right?
Strange title, huh? Yeah, I thought so, too. Kinda why I picked it. By this time, you're wondering where in the world I'm going with this - and why I won't just get to the point. Well, fine. If you think you're ready, I'll begin.
The subject of pride and humility is one that is universal. Each one of us, man or woman, child or adult, pastor or church-goer, is subject to pride. We're told to take pride in our work, to take pride in ourselves, to be proud of our family, our country-- the list goes on forever. But should we? Should we take pride in something we do well?
As men, we are to be the heads of our households, the public face of our family, and the leaders of our churches. The opportunities for pride are numerous and varied. We deal with pride each and every day, whether we realize or not. Do we take pride in our girlfriend or wife? Do we take pride in our muscular body, or our mental capacity? I do. But maybe I shouldn't...
Pride is sin. Whether or not you realize it, admit it, or want to accept it, it is. The bible states this over and over and over.
"But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the LORD his God and entered the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense. "- 2 Chronicles 26:16. Pride leads us away from God.
"Rise up, O judge of the earth; repay to the proud what they deserve! "- Psalm 94:2. God will repay the proud with what they deserve, and it isn't going to be pretty.
"Haughty eyes and a proud heart, the lamp of the wicked, are sin."-Proverbs 21:4. A proud heart- even if you don't obviously show pride, but simply have a proud heart, that is SIN.
What specifically is pride? Pride, at the most basic level, is desiring and taking what belongs to God. Doesn't make sense? Think about it this way - God created you, gave you the abilities and circumstances that made you who you are, worked our salvation for you, and you claim that YOU did "this", or YOU did "that" so very well. Who really should get the credit? You? No, God should. Pride is taking the glory and exaltation from God and claiming it for ourselves. God abhors this!
Pride shows itself in many ways, from obvious boasting (Think of a professional basketball player saying "Yeah, coach gave the ball to me because he knows I'm the one who scores the points around here."), to acting in such a way to make people think better of you (speaking just so people think you know something about the topic - even though you don't!). Think about how pride shows itself in your life - you'll get a long list.
So, pride's a problem. That much we know, but how do we fix it? How can we move away from that intrinsic thought process within mankind since the fall, and act in such a way that gives God the glory? Be humble.
Humility has been misconstrued for a long time, now. People think to be humble means to put yourself down, to deny that you are anyone worth anything. THAT, my friends, is FALSE humility. False humility is the denial of God's good gifts ("You did a great job on that presentation!" "No, not really. I wasn't that great.") It is WRONG to deny that God has done anything for us, and that we are worthless.
True humility comes in a surprisingly simple package - taking a proper view of yourself, the only conclusion that you can come to is that you are nothing without Christ, and therefore the glory goes to Him. You realize that you aren't worthless, but it's only because of Christ. Think about this - for Muhammad Ali to be humble, he would have said (assuming he had come to know Christ), "I am the greatest - not on my own, but because Christ has given me the ability and talent to box well." What a difference! The focus isn't on him anymore, the focus is on Christ, where it ought to be!
The apostle Paul had a pretty good fix on this; in I Timothy 1:15-16 he says, "...Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life." Wow! Paul not only has a proper view of himself (foremost sinner), but also realizes that what Christ does in our lives is for HIS glory, not ours. Paul then goes on in verse 17, "To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen." - That sure sounds like he's putting the focus on God and not himself.
The journey from pride to humility isn't an easy one - it's lifelong. Opportunities for pride are always around, and can even come from humility if we aren't careful. But God promises to help us with this journey, "...if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." (2 Chron. 7:14) God tells us that if we 1) humble ourselves, 2) pray and seek his face, and 3) turn from our wicked ways, then he will forgive us and heal us. Because sanctification is a lifelong process, we won't be completely rid of pride until we reach heaven, where we will meet with God in ALL his glory, and then we can't help but be humble in the very presence of our God!
One more amazing promise I'd like to share with you; in Psalm 149:4, we are told, "For the LORD takes pleasure in his people, he adorns the humble with salvation." "He adorns the humble with salvation" - that's what I want! Salvation can only come through humility, because we have to admit that we are sinners devoid of good before we can be saved.
So, let us as men (and ladies, too!) strive to humble ourselves before Christ, giving all glory and praise to him, because he deserves it. And let us not give opportunity for pride to rise up in another, but make Christ the focus in everything.
The subject of pride and humility is one that is universal. Each one of us, man or woman, child or adult, pastor or church-goer, is subject to pride. We're told to take pride in our work, to take pride in ourselves, to be proud of our family, our country-- the list goes on forever. But should we? Should we take pride in something we do well?
As men, we are to be the heads of our households, the public face of our family, and the leaders of our churches. The opportunities for pride are numerous and varied. We deal with pride each and every day, whether we realize or not. Do we take pride in our girlfriend or wife? Do we take pride in our muscular body, or our mental capacity? I do. But maybe I shouldn't...
Pride is sin. Whether or not you realize it, admit it, or want to accept it, it is. The bible states this over and over and over.
"But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the LORD his God and entered the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense. "- 2 Chronicles 26:16. Pride leads us away from God.
"Rise up, O judge of the earth; repay to the proud what they deserve! "- Psalm 94:2. God will repay the proud with what they deserve, and it isn't going to be pretty.
"Haughty eyes and a proud heart, the lamp of the wicked, are sin."-Proverbs 21:4. A proud heart- even if you don't obviously show pride, but simply have a proud heart, that is SIN.
What specifically is pride? Pride, at the most basic level, is desiring and taking what belongs to God. Doesn't make sense? Think about it this way - God created you, gave you the abilities and circumstances that made you who you are, worked our salvation for you, and you claim that YOU did "this", or YOU did "that" so very well. Who really should get the credit? You? No, God should. Pride is taking the glory and exaltation from God and claiming it for ourselves. God abhors this!
Pride shows itself in many ways, from obvious boasting (Think of a professional basketball player saying "Yeah, coach gave the ball to me because he knows I'm the one who scores the points around here."), to acting in such a way to make people think better of you (speaking just so people think you know something about the topic - even though you don't!). Think about how pride shows itself in your life - you'll get a long list.
So, pride's a problem. That much we know, but how do we fix it? How can we move away from that intrinsic thought process within mankind since the fall, and act in such a way that gives God the glory? Be humble.
Humility has been misconstrued for a long time, now. People think to be humble means to put yourself down, to deny that you are anyone worth anything. THAT, my friends, is FALSE humility. False humility is the denial of God's good gifts ("You did a great job on that presentation!" "No, not really. I wasn't that great.") It is WRONG to deny that God has done anything for us, and that we are worthless.
True humility comes in a surprisingly simple package - taking a proper view of yourself, the only conclusion that you can come to is that you are nothing without Christ, and therefore the glory goes to Him. You realize that you aren't worthless, but it's only because of Christ. Think about this - for Muhammad Ali to be humble, he would have said (assuming he had come to know Christ), "I am the greatest - not on my own, but because Christ has given me the ability and talent to box well." What a difference! The focus isn't on him anymore, the focus is on Christ, where it ought to be!
The apostle Paul had a pretty good fix on this; in I Timothy 1:15-16 he says, "...Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life." Wow! Paul not only has a proper view of himself (foremost sinner), but also realizes that what Christ does in our lives is for HIS glory, not ours. Paul then goes on in verse 17, "To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen." - That sure sounds like he's putting the focus on God and not himself.
The journey from pride to humility isn't an easy one - it's lifelong. Opportunities for pride are always around, and can even come from humility if we aren't careful. But God promises to help us with this journey, "...if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." (2 Chron. 7:14) God tells us that if we 1) humble ourselves, 2) pray and seek his face, and 3) turn from our wicked ways, then he will forgive us and heal us. Because sanctification is a lifelong process, we won't be completely rid of pride until we reach heaven, where we will meet with God in ALL his glory, and then we can't help but be humble in the very presence of our God!
One more amazing promise I'd like to share with you; in Psalm 149:4, we are told, "For the LORD takes pleasure in his people, he adorns the humble with salvation." "He adorns the humble with salvation" - that's what I want! Salvation can only come through humility, because we have to admit that we are sinners devoid of good before we can be saved.
So, let us as men (and ladies, too!) strive to humble ourselves before Christ, giving all glory and praise to him, because he deserves it. And let us not give opportunity for pride to rise up in another, but make Christ the focus in everything.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Figure women out? Yeah right...
So, you know feel as though you are well on your way to becoming a gentleman – becoming a man in the sense that God meant it to be. Great! You’re feeling great, doing new things, and then, it hits you:
“Wait a minute – why am I doing this? Girls don’t even notice it. Sheesh, I can’t even understand girls.”
You tell this to your friend, and he says, “Well, no one understands girls – they’re girls, man. They’re just weird. Don’t even try to figure them out.”
After this, you continue on your quest to becoming a gentleman, but feel as though it’s not as big a deal – “if I can’t understand girls, why even try to impress them?” It’s easy to feel this way, as though you’ve lost part of your purpose on this journey, but it’s false. This may come across as radical and dumb to some of you, but hear me when I say that today’s culture is teaching men more lies than truths.
Culture, and even some men in the church, tells us that girls are different enough that we won’t ever figure them out. I say, as some others do, that it just isn’t so. Men CAN understand women – God created us in such a way that we are different from the opposite gender, but we are still the same species. The key that has been lost over the ages, is to study women.
I have a friend, a lady, who is most passionate about the subject matter of this blog. During one lengthy discussion we had, she mentioned something to the effect that “Men just need to study women more.” “Brilliant!” I thought. “Now where is the study guide to go along with that?” Sadly, there isn’t one. It’s a matter of taking the time and effort and trying to learn about women.
It starts by learning the general things – such as “All women like chocolate” or the like. You learn this by constant contact with those closest to you, usually your mother and sisters. You learn some of the broader points of how women work and think, and then you start to learn the finer points.
The finer points usually come from close friendships or dating relationships with women. If you pay attention, and SEEK TO LEARN, you will find out many things about women, particularly those who are the subject of your study.
To give an analogy:
In Spanish class, if you TRY to learn the language (more than just “the bathroom” and “food, please”) you’ll succeed. You’ll find you are able to understand more than you ever thought possible when someone speaks in Spanish to you. But, if you only pick up the words you like and want (“cars”, “food”, and “video games”), you’ll find you miss out on most of any given conversation en espanol.
Likewise, if you apply yourself to learning about women, and truly seek to understand them (with the belief that you can), you will! It will take approximately one lifetime, give or take a few years, but you’ll do it. You will be able to understand the women in your life in a way today’s culture says is impossible. On the other hand, if you only find out what you want to about women (how to get them to giggle, and get a second date, etc.) you’ll miss out on the majority of the joy that something like a marriage can bring.
One of the best ways to learn Spanish, as is proven over and over again, is to speak it. If you spend half an hour a day speaking in Spanish with a friend, you’ll also understand more of what he is saying. But, if you only listen to it, you’ll never be able to utilize your knowledge of the language fully.
In the same way, PRACTICE and ACT on what you find in your study of women. This won’t only impress them (assuming you’ve been studying diligently), but it will give you a better understanding. To never use the understanding of women that you have is to stop halfway on the journey – it just doesn’t make the cut.
So, men, I challenge you – to consciously study (and I don’t mean stare at) women in your life so that you can understand them better. Your wife will appreciate it someday.
“Wait a minute – why am I doing this? Girls don’t even notice it. Sheesh, I can’t even understand girls.”
You tell this to your friend, and he says, “Well, no one understands girls – they’re girls, man. They’re just weird. Don’t even try to figure them out.”
After this, you continue on your quest to becoming a gentleman, but feel as though it’s not as big a deal – “if I can’t understand girls, why even try to impress them?” It’s easy to feel this way, as though you’ve lost part of your purpose on this journey, but it’s false. This may come across as radical and dumb to some of you, but hear me when I say that today’s culture is teaching men more lies than truths.
Culture, and even some men in the church, tells us that girls are different enough that we won’t ever figure them out. I say, as some others do, that it just isn’t so. Men CAN understand women – God created us in such a way that we are different from the opposite gender, but we are still the same species. The key that has been lost over the ages, is to study women.
I have a friend, a lady, who is most passionate about the subject matter of this blog. During one lengthy discussion we had, she mentioned something to the effect that “Men just need to study women more.” “Brilliant!” I thought. “Now where is the study guide to go along with that?” Sadly, there isn’t one. It’s a matter of taking the time and effort and trying to learn about women.
It starts by learning the general things – such as “All women like chocolate” or the like. You learn this by constant contact with those closest to you, usually your mother and sisters. You learn some of the broader points of how women work and think, and then you start to learn the finer points.
The finer points usually come from close friendships or dating relationships with women. If you pay attention, and SEEK TO LEARN, you will find out many things about women, particularly those who are the subject of your study.
To give an analogy:
In Spanish class, if you TRY to learn the language (more than just “the bathroom” and “food, please”) you’ll succeed. You’ll find you are able to understand more than you ever thought possible when someone speaks in Spanish to you. But, if you only pick up the words you like and want (“cars”, “food”, and “video games”), you’ll find you miss out on most of any given conversation en espanol.
Likewise, if you apply yourself to learning about women, and truly seek to understand them (with the belief that you can), you will! It will take approximately one lifetime, give or take a few years, but you’ll do it. You will be able to understand the women in your life in a way today’s culture says is impossible. On the other hand, if you only find out what you want to about women (how to get them to giggle, and get a second date, etc.) you’ll miss out on the majority of the joy that something like a marriage can bring.
One of the best ways to learn Spanish, as is proven over and over again, is to speak it. If you spend half an hour a day speaking in Spanish with a friend, you’ll also understand more of what he is saying. But, if you only listen to it, you’ll never be able to utilize your knowledge of the language fully.
In the same way, PRACTICE and ACT on what you find in your study of women. This won’t only impress them (assuming you’ve been studying diligently), but it will give you a better understanding. To never use the understanding of women that you have is to stop halfway on the journey – it just doesn’t make the cut.
So, men, I challenge you – to consciously study (and I don’t mean stare at) women in your life so that you can understand them better. Your wife will appreciate it someday.
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