Figure women out? Yeah right...

So, you know feel as though you are well on your way to becoming a gentleman – becoming a man in the sense that God meant it to be. Great! You’re feeling great, doing new things, and then, it hits you:
“Wait a minute – why am I doing this? Girls don’t even notice it. Sheesh, I can’t even understand girls.”
You tell this to your friend, and he says, “Well, no one understands girls – they’re girls, man. They’re just weird. Don’t even try to figure them out.”

After this, you continue on your quest to becoming a gentleman, but feel as though it’s not as big a deal – “if I can’t understand girls, why even try to impress them?” It’s easy to feel this way, as though you’ve lost part of your purpose on this journey, but it’s false. This may come across as radical and dumb to some of you, but hear me when I say that today’s culture is teaching men more lies than truths.

Culture, and even some men in the church, tells us that girls are different enough that we won’t ever figure them out. I say, as some others do, that it just isn’t so. Men CAN understand women – God created us in such a way that we are different from the opposite gender, but we are still the same species. The key that has been lost over the ages, is to study women.

I have a friend, a lady, who is most passionate about the subject matter of this blog. During one lengthy discussion we had, she mentioned something to the effect that “Men just need to study women more.” “Brilliant!” I thought. “Now where is the study guide to go along with that?” Sadly, there isn’t one. It’s a matter of taking the time and effort and trying to learn about women.

It starts by learning the general things – such as “All women like chocolate” or the like. You learn this by constant contact with those closest to you, usually your mother and sisters. You learn some of the broader points of how women work and think, and then you start to learn the finer points.

The finer points usually come from close friendships or dating relationships with women. If you pay attention, and SEEK TO LEARN, you will find out many things about women, particularly those who are the subject of your study.

To give an analogy:
In Spanish class, if you TRY to learn the language (more than just “the bathroom” and “food, please”) you’ll succeed. You’ll find you are able to understand more than you ever thought possible when someone speaks in Spanish to you. But, if you only pick up the words you like and want (“cars”, “food”, and “video games”), you’ll find you miss out on most of any given conversation en espanol.

Likewise, if you apply yourself to learning about women, and truly seek to understand them (with the belief that you can), you will! It will take approximately one lifetime, give or take a few years, but you’ll do it. You will be able to understand the women in your life in a way today’s culture says is impossible. On the other hand, if you only find out what you want to about women (how to get them to giggle, and get a second date, etc.) you’ll miss out on the majority of the joy that something like a marriage can bring.

One of the best ways to learn Spanish, as is proven over and over again, is to speak it. If you spend half an hour a day speaking in Spanish with a friend, you’ll also understand more of what he is saying. But, if you only listen to it, you’ll never be able to utilize your knowledge of the language fully.

In the same way, PRACTICE and ACT on what you find in your study of women. This won’t only impress them (assuming you’ve been studying diligently), but it will give you a better understanding. To never use the understanding of women that you have is to stop halfway on the journey – it just doesn’t make the cut.

So, men, I challenge you – to consciously study (and I don’t mean stare at) women in your life so that you can understand them better. Your wife will appreciate it someday.