I'm a guy who has no clue-
No clue about what to do.
I don't know how to convey it,
I don't know how to portray it,
I just know how to pray it.
This start of a poem explains how I have felt the past couple of months. Yes, it's been a while since I posted, and I kept meaning to post something, but didn't. Right now, my life (spiritually, emotionally, academically) is crazy. I don't want to be a whiner (too late, right?) but I really don't know what to do in each of these categories. I will ask you (the reader) for some advice - you're probably smarter than I am. I will try to be vague in some ways, like not naming names, because I try to respect peoples privacy. Okay, here goes.
Spiritually, I am being constantly molded and perfected by God. This is not a bad thing - we all go through it, but it usually isn't easy. I am trying to constantly live a life worthy of Christ (and fail often), but have a hard time dealing with a specific sin. I have talked to people about it, prayed about it, asked God to give me the strength to resist it, and I keep falling into it. Any ideas as to what I should do?
Academically, I am doing okay in most of my classes, except for Calculus I. I took it in High School, but didn't learn anything, really (anything I learned was incorrect - the teacher was somewhat to blame, but it was my fault, too). So, I am taking it again in College, and it is owning me. I am aiming to just pass it, now. I really am having trouble - I signed up for a free tutor, but that hasn't gone through yet. Any recommendations?
Emotionally, I can explain it best this way:
"I" doesn't know what to do. "Me" and "myself" are arguing, and "I" is confused. "I" is still dealing with some emotional pain (yes, female-related) and is trying to work through that. "Me" is interested in another girl, who goes to KSU. This other girl is extremely nice, etc., but "Me" is not being very considerate of "I". "Myself" is growing more and more interested in a different girl than "Me", who is not nearby at all. "I" just wants the other two to shut up until further notice, but "Me" and "Myself" start arguing loudly and "I" can't help but get involved. Recently, "I" agreed to let "Me" have a chance, in hopes that "I" can overcome "Me" and when presented with an opportunity to continue down "Me"'s path, that "I" can stay "just friends". "Myself" seems to be biding his time, waiting for the right moment to take advantage of both "I" and "Me".
Now, that might not make much sense, and if it doesn't, ask me about it. Anyways, what should I do to help all three, "I", "Me", and "Myself", get along?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
the spiritual section: Daniel Howe at the last retreat talked about repentance and how it is a continual process--we have to do it all the time. Sin isn't something that just goes away when we repent the first time...it takes a continual renewal of the grace of God. Whenever you fall, you have to start over, but the key thing is that you can always find renewal in Christ.
academic section: uuuumm...well, i never had any problems in math, but i never took calculus (i want to, but it's just not working out--are you recommending i not take it at k-state?). are any of your classmates willing to help?
emotional section: yeah, i was totally lost in the first sentence. i definitely can't help you there.
i'm sorry you're feeling so down. i'll pray for you tonight!
so I'm rather late in reading this, and perhaps you are no longer a man without a clue but here are a few thoughts...
I really liked your opening poem and I see that apart from all you said after it, you are doing the right thing by prayer--the foundation of which is embedded in faith that our God is who He says He is and that you trust Him with the outcome (with both big and small details).
I'm mainly writing to the "spiritually" part since I totally hear you there. Martha's advice is the first step in every sin related situation.
In the meantime, there is the daily battle that you're waging and you may need to repent more than once. But battles are like that--rough, tough and dirty.
I encourage you to find a brother/dad figure in your life whom you trust and who can serve as your confidant and accountability.
No man was created to fight battles solo, and even now you are doing right by seeking advice and counsel to find the best battle strategies.
Remember: there are only two worlds: Good and Evil. We're all in this together, we all fight battles of varying subjects.
But I commend you, brother, you are not running from the battle but seeking to find the best strategic position to stand and fight for the Truth that will set you free. Don't allow your weaknesses to overwhelm you or persuade doubt to capture your heart and life that has been bought with a price and freely knighted with grace.
There might be deep battle wounds (and later scars) but His hope is your own when the clouds gather and let loose because victory is His! Allow His healing hand to touch you and use you to sing praises of His victories.
Second, seek His face about it earnestly and sincerely and be that widow woman in the parable who would not stop pleading and begging until the King answered her.
All right, this got way long. Sorry about that...
Go now and fight for His Name that covers you!
"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" 2 Cor 12:9
Post a Comment